"Aduh aku malu nih, kalau mampir ke rumah orang tuanya Ozy nanti. Aku mau bilang apa ya?"
katanya sambil membuka lemari.
"Santai aja ma. Nggak usah malu. Biasa aja. Aku udah pernah kesana kok. Dan ibunya baik. Hehe.."
Ibuku lalu meletakkan beberapa pasang baju di atas tempat tidur.
"Menurut kamu aku pakai baju apa nanti? Kalo yang ini gimana?" ujarnya sambil menunjukkan terusan panjang dengan kerudung sepanjang paha.
"Bagus, bagus ma. " kataku tersenyum
"Tapi aku takut, kalo pake ini jangan jangan nanti ga disetujuin sama mamanya." kata ibu sambil memakai dress tersebut.
"Nggak lah ma. Bagus kok. Lagian gapapa kali ma. Kan anaknya udah suka sama aku, dan orang tuanya juga udah sayang sama aku."
Tiba-tiba dilemparkannya penggantung dress tersebut. "Jadi maksud kamu apa?"
"Kenapa ma?"aku bingung dan takut.
"Maksud kamu, aku nggak ada hubungannya sama Ozy gitu? Dan kamu kira cuma sekedar kamu yang diterima di keluarga Ozy?
Kok bisa bisanya bilang kaya gitu? Aku udah jungkir balik nyekolahin kamu, tapi balesan kamu cuma kaya gini? Kamu bilang kalo orang tuanya Ozy sayang sama kamu? Sesayang apa ? Beraninya kamu mengagung agungkan orang tuanya Ozy dibanding orang tua kamu sendiri. Anak ga tau diuntung. Kamu masih hidup kaya gini, gara gara aku. Coba kalau pas kecelakaan ga ada aku. Kamu pasti udah dibakar di neraka sekarang."ujarnya melotot.
Memang beberapa bulan yang lalu aku mengalami gegar otak berat yang hampir merenggut nyawaku. Tapi puji Tuhan aku masih diberikan umur panjang sehingga masih dapat menikmati hidup hingga saat ini.
"Aku sama sekali ga mengagung agungkan keluarga mas Ozy ma. Aku cuma bilang kalo keluarganya sayang sama aku."
"Kamu bilang ibunya baik."
"Mama kan nanya, mama bilang takut sama keluarganya mas Ozy. Aku kan nyoba ngehibur mama supaya mama ga takut sama keluarga mas Ozy."
"Tapi kan aku ga nanya ibunya baik atau enggak.Dan nggakk perlu lah kamu bilang kalo ibunya baik. Oh ya, dulu kamu pernah cerita juga kalo ibunya nyiapin kamu makan pagi pagi. Hah. Trus kamu sombong udah deket gitu sama keluarganya Ozy? Hah?"
"Wah, bahaya tuh ma. kalo dia udah nemu ada orang lain yang baik ama dia gitu. Bisa bisa nanti dia kalo udah nikah, bakal ngelupain keluarganya sendiri tuh ma. Hah.. Siap siap aja ma. Siap siap deeh. kita bakal diinjek injek sama dia." Kakak perempuan ku yang baru saja tampak di depan pintu bersuara.
"Iya nih ta. Harusnya mati aja anak kaya gini. dari dulu harusnya dibunuh aja. Udah nyusahin. Sakit sakitan. Nggak tau diri juga. " lanjut ibuku.
Dienstag, 11. November 2014
Montag, 10. November 2014
A bit of tears
"Aku takut Ozy nggak suka sama aku. Kemarin sebelum berangkat ke Bandung, Ozy nangis lho pisah sama aku."
"Aku kangen smsan sama Ozy. Tiap pagi kita smsan terus. Akhir akhir pas mau berangkat aja, si Ozy nggak nge sms aku. Aku diemin aja. Eh, besoknya dia minta maaf udah nyuekin aku."
"Aku masih inget waktu dia bilang sayang sama aku. Duh, aku harap dia setia."
Biip biip.. Sebuah sms masuk ke ponsel Ozy. Kebetulan saat itu, aku baru saja keluar dari kelas, menatap Ozy yang sedang duduk menunggu untuk mengantarku pulang. Ozy menyerahkan ponselnya padaku.
"Kenapa sayang?" tanyaku.
Ia mengubah posisi duduknya. "Sayang baca sendiri yah sayang."
Aku meraih ponselnya, kubaca pesan teratas dari daftar pesan.
"Mas, aku pengen badanku langsing kaya dulu lagi. Sebelum aku ngalamin operasi. Nanti setelah mas Ozy berangkat, pokoknya aku mau usahain biar badan aku langsing. Biar nanti pas mas Ozy pulang, badanku udah bagus. Nggak kaya sekarang. Hehe"
Saat itu, terasa pasokan oksigen di udara berkurang. Aku tercekat. Terkejut melihat itu. Siapa yang mampu tenang melihat sms seorang wanita lain kepada tunangannya yang mengatakan bahwa wanita itu akan berdandan untuk tunangannya. Kutatap wajah Ozy. Matanya sayu menatapku iba.
"Sayang, aku ngelakuin ini untuk sayang. Ingat sayang. Ini semua agar kita bisa menikah dan membina rumah tangga bahagia."
Aku langsung terduduk. Rasanya kakiku lemas. Ingin aku menangis tersedu menyesali keadaanku ini. Sudah cukup aku mendengarkan cerita wanita itu tentang tunanganku padaku setiap hari. Kemudian ponsel mas Ozy berbunyi lagi. Aku membiarkannya di atas meja. Ozy memegang tanganku.
"Sayang, sabar ya sayang. Kita bisa kok ngelewatin ini."
Aku mengangguk, berusaha tersenyum.
"Sayang mau buka sms nya lagi?" tanyanya.
Aku meraih ponsel Ozy yang terletak di meja.
"Mas Ozy udah makan mas? Lia nya udah keluar kelas atau belum?"
"Cie" ujarku pada mas Ozy.
"Sayangku. Aku sayang sama adek. " Ia membelaiku.
Segera kubalas sms dari wanita itu. "Iya bu, nanti makan sama adek. Setelah adek selesai kuliah."
Bu. Iya ibu. Wanita yang rajin mendekati calon suamiku ini, usianya sudah masuk ke 50 tahun. Ia adalah orang yang sangat ku kenal.Ia adalah orang yang melahirkanku. Ibu kandungku sendiri.
Hape berdering lagi. "Jangan lupa makan ya. Biar ga sakit. Oh iya. Lia jangan dibolehin makan ya. Itu badannya udah segede traktor gitu. Anterin pulang dulu aja dia. Besok mas Ozy jadi ke rumah kan?"
Aku memegang tangan Ozy erat erat. Berusaha untuk kuat. Aku tahu ini jalan satu satunya agar aku dapat menikah dengan orang yang aku cintai. Terus terngiang di kepalaku, ancaman ibu kepadaku, bahwa calon suamiku nanti harus mampu menyenangkan dia. Atau kalau tidak, maka anaknya tak akan diperbolehkan untuk menikah.
Lalu aku dan Ozy mengatur cara agar kami dapat menikah. Aku memintanya untuk menanggapi setiap sms dari ibuku agar kami mendapat restu. Rupanya cara ini berhasil. Ibuku sangat menyukai Ozy. Lebih tepatnya mencintai. Setiap hari ibuku bercerita tentang hubungannya dengan Ozy padaku. Walaupun aku tahu, selama ini Ozy melakukan itu atas suruhanku, namun sulit untuk menguatkan hati, untuk tidak merasa sakit, ketika ibuku bercerita tentang kemesraannya dengan Ozy.
"Kyaa.. Ozy bilang kalo dia sayang banget sama aku." suatu waktu ibuku berkata demikian padaku sambil tersipu.
" Oh ya ma? Bilang gimana dia?" tanyaku berpura pura antusias.
"Ya kalo dia sayang, dan ga akan ninggalin aku. Pokoknya bilang gitu deh."
Aku tak dapat melihat sms Ozy di ponsel ibuku. Karena dia akan marah jika privacy nya bersama Ozy terusik. Siangnya ketika Ozy mengantarkanku kuliah, aku melihat ponsel Ozy.
Dan ya. Ada sms itu. "Mas Ozy harus janji ya, ga akan ninggalin ibu setelah nikah nanti. Mas Ozy sayang kan sama ibu?"
"Saya sayang sama ibu dan bapak. Ibu dan bapak seperti orang tua saya sendiri."
Dan ibuku membalas, "Masa? Awas ya kalo nggak setia. :)"
"Saya akan setia sama Lia kok bu. Saya janji."
"Ih.. mulai deh gombalnya ke aku :) :)"
SMS ini lah yang membuat ibuku kegirangan tadi siang.
Aku masih ingat ketika dia rajin menelefon mantanku hanya untuk bertanya kabar. Dan itu terulang lagi pada Ozy. Hampir setiap malam, ibuku menelefon Ozy, untuk hal hal yang tidak penting. Awalnya Ozy merasa amat risih. Namun aku memaksanya untuk menjawabnya, agar kami bisa menikah.
Bahkan aku harus berpura pura di depan ibuku bahwa Ozy lebih mencintai ibuku daripada aku dan kami jarang bertemu saat di kampus. Beberapa kali ibuku beralasan, agar Ozy datang ke rumah. Entah ada sesuatu yang tertinggal, hingga suatu saat ibuku terang terangan meminta Ozy untuk menemaninya di rumah.
Bersambung..
"Aku kangen smsan sama Ozy. Tiap pagi kita smsan terus. Akhir akhir pas mau berangkat aja, si Ozy nggak nge sms aku. Aku diemin aja. Eh, besoknya dia minta maaf udah nyuekin aku."
"Aku masih inget waktu dia bilang sayang sama aku. Duh, aku harap dia setia."
Biip biip.. Sebuah sms masuk ke ponsel Ozy. Kebetulan saat itu, aku baru saja keluar dari kelas, menatap Ozy yang sedang duduk menunggu untuk mengantarku pulang. Ozy menyerahkan ponselnya padaku.
"Kenapa sayang?" tanyaku.
Ia mengubah posisi duduknya. "Sayang baca sendiri yah sayang."
Aku meraih ponselnya, kubaca pesan teratas dari daftar pesan.
"Mas, aku pengen badanku langsing kaya dulu lagi. Sebelum aku ngalamin operasi. Nanti setelah mas Ozy berangkat, pokoknya aku mau usahain biar badan aku langsing. Biar nanti pas mas Ozy pulang, badanku udah bagus. Nggak kaya sekarang. Hehe"
Saat itu, terasa pasokan oksigen di udara berkurang. Aku tercekat. Terkejut melihat itu. Siapa yang mampu tenang melihat sms seorang wanita lain kepada tunangannya yang mengatakan bahwa wanita itu akan berdandan untuk tunangannya. Kutatap wajah Ozy. Matanya sayu menatapku iba.
"Sayang, aku ngelakuin ini untuk sayang. Ingat sayang. Ini semua agar kita bisa menikah dan membina rumah tangga bahagia."
Aku langsung terduduk. Rasanya kakiku lemas. Ingin aku menangis tersedu menyesali keadaanku ini. Sudah cukup aku mendengarkan cerita wanita itu tentang tunanganku padaku setiap hari. Kemudian ponsel mas Ozy berbunyi lagi. Aku membiarkannya di atas meja. Ozy memegang tanganku.
"Sayang, sabar ya sayang. Kita bisa kok ngelewatin ini."
Aku mengangguk, berusaha tersenyum.
"Sayang mau buka sms nya lagi?" tanyanya.
Aku meraih ponsel Ozy yang terletak di meja.
"Mas Ozy udah makan mas? Lia nya udah keluar kelas atau belum?"
"Cie" ujarku pada mas Ozy.
"Sayangku. Aku sayang sama adek. " Ia membelaiku.
Segera kubalas sms dari wanita itu. "Iya bu, nanti makan sama adek. Setelah adek selesai kuliah."
Bu. Iya ibu. Wanita yang rajin mendekati calon suamiku ini, usianya sudah masuk ke 50 tahun. Ia adalah orang yang sangat ku kenal.Ia adalah orang yang melahirkanku. Ibu kandungku sendiri.
Hape berdering lagi. "Jangan lupa makan ya. Biar ga sakit. Oh iya. Lia jangan dibolehin makan ya. Itu badannya udah segede traktor gitu. Anterin pulang dulu aja dia. Besok mas Ozy jadi ke rumah kan?"
Aku memegang tangan Ozy erat erat. Berusaha untuk kuat. Aku tahu ini jalan satu satunya agar aku dapat menikah dengan orang yang aku cintai. Terus terngiang di kepalaku, ancaman ibu kepadaku, bahwa calon suamiku nanti harus mampu menyenangkan dia. Atau kalau tidak, maka anaknya tak akan diperbolehkan untuk menikah.
Lalu aku dan Ozy mengatur cara agar kami dapat menikah. Aku memintanya untuk menanggapi setiap sms dari ibuku agar kami mendapat restu. Rupanya cara ini berhasil. Ibuku sangat menyukai Ozy. Lebih tepatnya mencintai. Setiap hari ibuku bercerita tentang hubungannya dengan Ozy padaku. Walaupun aku tahu, selama ini Ozy melakukan itu atas suruhanku, namun sulit untuk menguatkan hati, untuk tidak merasa sakit, ketika ibuku bercerita tentang kemesraannya dengan Ozy.
"Kyaa.. Ozy bilang kalo dia sayang banget sama aku." suatu waktu ibuku berkata demikian padaku sambil tersipu.
" Oh ya ma? Bilang gimana dia?" tanyaku berpura pura antusias.
"Ya kalo dia sayang, dan ga akan ninggalin aku. Pokoknya bilang gitu deh."
Aku tak dapat melihat sms Ozy di ponsel ibuku. Karena dia akan marah jika privacy nya bersama Ozy terusik. Siangnya ketika Ozy mengantarkanku kuliah, aku melihat ponsel Ozy.
Dan ya. Ada sms itu. "Mas Ozy harus janji ya, ga akan ninggalin ibu setelah nikah nanti. Mas Ozy sayang kan sama ibu?"
"Saya sayang sama ibu dan bapak. Ibu dan bapak seperti orang tua saya sendiri."
Dan ibuku membalas, "Masa? Awas ya kalo nggak setia. :)"
"Saya akan setia sama Lia kok bu. Saya janji."
"Ih.. mulai deh gombalnya ke aku :) :)"
SMS ini lah yang membuat ibuku kegirangan tadi siang.
Aku masih ingat ketika dia rajin menelefon mantanku hanya untuk bertanya kabar. Dan itu terulang lagi pada Ozy. Hampir setiap malam, ibuku menelefon Ozy, untuk hal hal yang tidak penting. Awalnya Ozy merasa amat risih. Namun aku memaksanya untuk menjawabnya, agar kami bisa menikah.
Bahkan aku harus berpura pura di depan ibuku bahwa Ozy lebih mencintai ibuku daripada aku dan kami jarang bertemu saat di kampus. Beberapa kali ibuku beralasan, agar Ozy datang ke rumah. Entah ada sesuatu yang tertinggal, hingga suatu saat ibuku terang terangan meminta Ozy untuk menemaninya di rumah.
Bersambung..
Dienstag, 1. Mai 2012
Good Girl From Now On
This week was a GOOD week for me..
Well, Good, yeah? It was.
I had some problems in this week, not big problems though but it was driving me crazy enough.
Some little problems, I just forgot it because I'm an absent-minded girl and I don't wanna waste my time worrying about some little things (is that true?
Well,maybe not, sometimes I could overreact about something.)
The problem that I still remember, is the problem I had 3 days ago. Yeah, Thursday. What a Thursday! [Betapa Kamisnyaaa!] *smile,smile,smile*
On Thursday morning, I woke up at 6 a.m. I was in period so I didn't do Fajr Pray. I had a painful headache.
I thought, "I have a cold (entered wind or masuk angin in Indonesia)."
On that day, I would have a meeting with my groups to talk about my Data Acquisition Project at 8 a.m
Then, I decided to text my friend who's in the same group with me in Data Acquisition Project, to tell her that I was having a painful headache, so I couldn't attend the meeting. Unfortunately, my phone said "TEXT COULD NOT BE SENT". I checked the balance on my phone, and YEP, I didn't have any credits in my phone.
I was soooooo dizzy so I decided to take a nap until the next lecture at 10.
At 9 a.m, Esther,one of my friend called me, but when I picked the phone. She didn't say any word. So I hung up the phone. And waited for the next call. She didn't call.
Another call incoming, It's from Martha, she didn't say any word either. I hung it up again. And waited for a moment.
There is no call. So I decided to take a shower and went to college.
When I arrived at my class. I was late, so there was no seat except a seat right in front of the lecturer and Esther.
When I was writing down the note on the whiteboard, Esther called me.
[I write it down in original Indonesia and give you the translation afterward]
"Sil, kenapa tadi ga dateng asistensi? (Why didn't you come to the meeting?)
"Oh,iya...... (Well....)" I swear I haven't finished yet to explain my reason.
"oh ya, oh ya.. Hemmph. (well? Well? huh!)
Esther continued again with the sarcasm glance " Aku sms kok ga bales sih? ( I texted you, and you didn't even reply it.)"
"Aku.... (I was...)"
"Aku tadi sendirian, Egy telat. Aku bahkan ga tau harus ngerjain apa (I attended the meeting alone, Egy was late, I didn't know what to do.)"
She began to cry and complained about my behavior to the girls next to her.
She told (yelled, exactly) all that sentences with a very angry expression and I was just silenced. I was sooo upset. How could she just say that and acting like crying behind me. And SHE DIDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO MY REASON!
I sat in front of her, trying to be strong. I try to hold this tears which was ready to pour out. Then, after the first lecture was done, I went down the stairs and I wanted to buy any drink to relax myself. I met my friend, Larry. He asked me, why did I look so sad? I kept silent. But I couldn't bear this pain any longer. I cried.
And he told me to tell him what actually happened in class. We sit on the stairs near the warehouse. and I told him everything. He was one of my best friend. So I trust him.
Few minutes later, a group of girls passed.. And they saw us. One of them, is a girl that loves Larry. I tried to keep our distance and hid my face. However, a moment later, I heard a slamming sound. I didn't think that she would be mad at me because of that thing.
The next morning, I came to the class happily. I still hurt but I try not to keep it any longer. I tried to forget that. I sat beside the Girl, who loves Larry. (She was my good friend too). I said hi. But that girl ignored me all the time. I tried to start the conversations with her. She ignored and ignored me. I was dumped. Fortunately then, another friend called me to sit beside him.So, I happily moved beside him.
Then, I knew that she was very angry to me. I knew it, from her actions. She is madly MAD at me. Larry and her are not in a relationship. But, I felt terribly sorry to that Girl for making her MAD. I told this to my mum. She told me not to think about that kind of thing. She told me to avoid them both. Because that Girl is kinda possessive. And it's not gonna be good being friend with them anymore. Let them living happily together. I obey my mum. It felt so hard at the first time. But I have to get used to it.
"JANGAN JADI BIANG MASALAH DI KEHIDUPAN ORANG LAIN" My mum said it to me a few times. Yes, mummy. From now on, I'll never be a troublemaker. I'm going to be a GOOD GIRLGONE BAD. A GOOD AND NICE GIRL. :)
Well, Good, yeah? It was.
I had some problems in this week, not big problems though but it was driving me crazy enough.
Some little problems, I just forgot it because I'm an absent-minded girl and I don't wanna waste my time worrying about some little things (is that true?
Well,maybe not, sometimes I could overreact about something.)
The problem that I still remember, is the problem I had 3 days ago. Yeah, Thursday. What a Thursday! [Betapa Kamisnyaaa!] *smile,smile,smile*
On Thursday morning, I woke up at 6 a.m. I was in period so I didn't do Fajr Pray. I had a painful headache.
I thought, "I have a cold (entered wind or masuk angin in Indonesia)."
On that day, I would have a meeting with my groups to talk about my Data Acquisition Project at 8 a.m
Then, I decided to text my friend who's in the same group with me in Data Acquisition Project, to tell her that I was having a painful headache, so I couldn't attend the meeting. Unfortunately, my phone said "TEXT COULD NOT BE SENT". I checked the balance on my phone, and YEP, I didn't have any credits in my phone.
I was soooooo dizzy so I decided to take a nap until the next lecture at 10.
At 9 a.m, Esther,one of my friend called me, but when I picked the phone. She didn't say any word. So I hung up the phone. And waited for the next call. She didn't call.
Another call incoming, It's from Martha, she didn't say any word either. I hung it up again. And waited for a moment.
There is no call. So I decided to take a shower and went to college.
When I arrived at my class. I was late, so there was no seat except a seat right in front of the lecturer and Esther.
When I was writing down the note on the whiteboard, Esther called me.
[I write it down in original Indonesia and give you the translation afterward]
"Sil, kenapa tadi ga dateng asistensi? (Why didn't you come to the meeting?)
"Oh,iya...... (Well....)" I swear I haven't finished yet to explain my reason.
"oh ya, oh ya.. Hemmph. (well? Well? huh!)
Esther continued again with the sarcasm glance " Aku sms kok ga bales sih? ( I texted you, and you didn't even reply it.)"
"Aku.... (I was...)"
"Aku tadi sendirian, Egy telat. Aku bahkan ga tau harus ngerjain apa (I attended the meeting alone, Egy was late, I didn't know what to do.)"
She began to cry and complained about my behavior to the girls next to her.
She told (yelled, exactly) all that sentences with a very angry expression and I was just silenced. I was sooo upset. How could she just say that and acting like crying behind me. And SHE DIDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO MY REASON!
I sat in front of her, trying to be strong. I try to hold this tears which was ready to pour out. Then, after the first lecture was done, I went down the stairs and I wanted to buy any drink to relax myself. I met my friend, Larry. He asked me, why did I look so sad? I kept silent. But I couldn't bear this pain any longer. I cried.
And he told me to tell him what actually happened in class. We sit on the stairs near the warehouse. and I told him everything. He was one of my best friend. So I trust him.
Few minutes later, a group of girls passed.. And they saw us. One of them, is a girl that loves Larry. I tried to keep our distance and hid my face. However, a moment later, I heard a slamming sound. I didn't think that she would be mad at me because of that thing.
The next morning, I came to the class happily. I still hurt but I try not to keep it any longer. I tried to forget that. I sat beside the Girl, who loves Larry. (She was my good friend too). I said hi. But that girl ignored me all the time. I tried to start the conversations with her. She ignored and ignored me. I was dumped. Fortunately then, another friend called me to sit beside him.So, I happily moved beside him.
Then, I knew that she was very angry to me. I knew it, from her actions. She is madly MAD at me. Larry and her are not in a relationship. But, I felt terribly sorry to that Girl for making her MAD. I told this to my mum. She told me not to think about that kind of thing. She told me to avoid them both. Because that Girl is kinda possessive. And it's not gonna be good being friend with them anymore. Let them living happily together. I obey my mum. It felt so hard at the first time. But I have to get used to it.
"JANGAN JADI BIANG MASALAH DI KEHIDUPAN ORANG LAIN" My mum said it to me a few times. Yes, mummy. From now on, I'll never be a troublemaker. I'm going to be a GOOD GIRL
Sonntag, 29. April 2012
Willkommen Auf Meinem Blog!
I have more to say, but first of all I want to say :
"WELCOME TO MY BLOG!"
"WELCOME TO MY BLOG!"
This is the first time I post my story on this blog. My blog's title is in Deutsch which means My Story. But I'm sorry for all the German who is reading this blog. I can't speak Deutsch so well so I decided to post this blog in English and sometimes in Indonesians, because I'm Indonesian (Indonesians, using 's' since any ethnical languages included).
Entschuldigung. >.<
This blog contains the stories of my life and maybe some.... trashes?
LOLs..
Anyway, I'm not forcing you to read this kind of things ( I told you that this blog might contains trashes), but if you want to, I would be very pleased to have some visitors on my blog. :)
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